Why Da Post Ain’t About Me?

“ And I’m not spying! I’m evaluating!”

“It’s the same difference!” 

― Kim Harrison, Early to Death, Early to Rise

Social media stalking 101

We all do it. Go to his or her social media to see what the person we are interested in is doing, posting,or thinking. The problem is what we interpret the person’s post to mean is always in the context of our perspective rather it’s realistic or not. Here’s a few “how to stalk” with tact tips.

  1. Get a good and cute Judy or Bestie to unfriend you and friend the subject.
  2. If you are friends; like but don’t comment on the subject’s posts.
  3. Not friends, never comment or bring up a topic you’ve seen them post in person..it might stimulate their spider senses.
  4. If you are friends never ever rant on your profile page the subject follows you on, you don’t want them to beat you at social media stalking.
  5. A good friend of mine, would slowly incorporate the things she saw her love interest post about into who she was, from wearing his favorite team’s jersey on dates, to listening to the music he posted about to doing the freaky stuff he posted about in bed. Needless to say she had a baby by the no count, fraud of a man. I promise we are friends.

no matter what you do nobody wants the person that wants them…

I hate to break it to you but 9 times out of 10 his or her post is most definitely NoT about you. I know this and I still find myself lurking on people’s pages. Rumor has it the ones not liking or commenting on your posts are the main ones watching. I know from personal experience this is true. But to paraphrase Kim Harrison, I’m not stalking. I am evaluating. Evaluating every-thing!! Where you were when I texted you, who’s commenting on your posts, who you are tagging all that jazz, if our mutual friend count went up and all that…if you had a shitty day, I’ll know because your dumb-ass posted about it.

ninjas with a public page want to be stalked!!

If they didn’t want to be stalked, their page wouldn’t be public. So save the drama for your Momma. LoL! Another tip..get a different cute Judy or Bestie to follow them on IG. This way when your blocked from Facebook or vice versa you have another way to stalk. Note social media whores go to social media with everything , where they are going, who they are going with, and how they are getting there. This does nothing but make it harder to not stalk them. So why not show up to the party h and when they post something you know is clearly about you, the dopamine shoots through the frickin roof.

Moral of the story social media is of the devil, lmao but damn if it isn’t fun to use.

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